A Letter to Anne
Created by Bill 8 years ago
Hi Anne,
It was at a wedding that we met, a bittersweet wedding. The
wedding was joyous - your son, Mark, and my daughter, Kyra. But it was also sad
because just six weeks before, my wife, Kyra’s mom, had suddenly died. The
wedding followed a traditional Quaker Meeting where all the attendees could
speak. I remember you getting up and admonishing your son to be good to his wonderful
bride. Although that probably was not the last time you fulfilled your motherly
role in admonishing your son, I beamed because you called my daughter
wonderful.
Even though we share grandchildren, Ezra and Lillian, our paths
rarely crossed. A number of years ago we met in Berkeley where Mark and Kyra were
graduate students. And then again in Portland, just a couple of short weeks
before you died. You had just moved there. We talked. You seemed healthy. It
was a shock when Kyra’s voice on my answering machine told me that you had
died. I had to listen to it a number of times before the news sunk in.
I never knew my grandparents and what I had missed by not
knowing them. Being now in the grandparent stage of my life, I have become
aware of how important the role is.
On my last visit to Portland, I watched you
grand-mothering Ezra and Lillian. You bonded with them. Ezra loved being with you, playing board
games, sharing books, talking, just being together. Lillian
sees you as having moved to heaven where she can come and visit you.
Ezra and Lillian have lost both grandmothers, one they never
knew and you who respected, loved and valued them. It is my goal that Lillian
and Ezra will see in me the grand-parenting qualities they saw in you.
I write this with sorrow,
Your outlaw (Do we have a word for the parents of a married
couple?),
Bill
Otherwise known as Opa
April 2016